3 More Things You Should Be Praying for in Your Marriage

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Marriage is filled with challenges that are beyond our knowledge and ability to navigate alone. Just like the many problems that can come with fixing up a house, you will experience many problems in your marriage as you seek to “fix up” your love. However, there is help available from the great Designer of love and marriage, God. We find this help through prayer and the awesome Word of God! Join us via live recording as we continue learning about things you should be praying about in your marriage.

https://FixerUpperMarriage.org/prayer2

For the first lesson on this subject visit:

http://FixerUpperMarriage.org/prayer

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
Galatians 5: 22-23

1. Pray that longsuffering will be your goal.

Longsuffering- (adjective) Bearing injuries or provocation for a long time; patient; not easily provoked. (http://webstersdictionary1828.com/)

And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The LORD, The LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth,
Exodus 34: 6

God is longsuffering.

Your longsuffering is a reflection of His character.
Marriage is an incredible opportunity to learn and practice longsuffering.
Living together with a lifetime commitment with all your bad habits and personal flaws has a way of testing your longsuffering.
For example I snore loudly, and obsess over things I don’t understand.
In living together as a married couple you learn to understand about God’s longsuffering to us and how to be more like Him.
Is compatibility a myth? When you consider how much we change throughout life- Is it possible for you to know the future me? It is possible to have longsuffering and commitment to your spouse.

There are no shortcuts in longsuffering.

For example, I used cliffsnotes in high school literature class instead of reading the assignments. However, in the process I cheated myself out of a better grade and the experience. I later discovered that I love American Literature by the way.
You may find some “cliffsnotes” for marriage, but you will cheat yourself out of the experience and joy of working through your problems together. You can just get a passing grade and miss God’s best for your marriage!
There is folly in starting over in marriage. This may seem easier than working through your problems together, but you cheat yourself out of the experience of overcoming your differences.

Longsuffering means that you are in it for the long run of Marriage.

It may take time to have a good marriage, but you can do it by following the principles of God’s Word and depending on Him every day. This is not an overnight process, but it is process that makes us more like Jesus as we seek it.
Consider your excited friend who has discovered that new amazing diet. They have lost 20 lbs and can’t stop talking about it. However, you are just not interested at the moment because you don’t have to money, time, or energy.
Your spouse may not jump right on the Fixer Upper Marriage train with you. Nevertheless, you can continue to patiently do your part and you may be surprised at all the things that God can do for you.

2. Pray that gentleness will be your attitude.

Gentleness (noun) 1. Genteel behavior. 2. Softness of manners, mildness in temper; sweetness indisposition, meekness. 3. Kindness, benevolence. 4. Tenderness, mild treatment. (http://webstersdictionary1828.com/)

And he said, Go forth, and stand upon the mount before the LORD. And, behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the LORD was no in the earthquake: And after the earthquake a fire; but the LORD was not in the fire: and after the fire a still small voice.
I Kings 19: 11-12 (the story of God, Elijah, and the still small voice of God)

God is gentle.

Before I knew Him I was afraid of Him.
However, once I appropriated His shed blood for my sin, once I asked Jesus into my heart and got to know Him a little, I found out that He is incredibly gentle.
He does not treat me the way that I treat Him.
He does not talk to me the way that I deserve to be talked to.
He speaks to me gently, sweetly, and kindly. Many times I find myself on the altar at Church or on the couch in house asking Him for help and forgiveness because He has gently spoken to my heart.
Marriage is the best opportunity in the world to learn how to practice gentleness. There is no other relationship so intimate, so demanding, and so rewarding as marriage!

Gentleness will produce better results than your own methods.

Instead of attacking your spouse, learn to start conversations with gentleness and things will go a lot better for you.
Don’t speak from your emotional flooding, but speak with deliberateness and calmness. Stop and think before you speak. Also, stop and pray before you respond.
Allow prayer to be your filter when speaking about an emotionally charged issue.
You may temporarily solve a problem by hollering or nagging, but you will just have to keep hollering and nagging about the same things.
However, you can change a behavior permanently with gentleness. This is why God uses gentleness when dealing with you.
Gentleness comes from a place of understanding.
- For example, while working for the Post Office I deal with people sometimes who are obsessively track their packages. It helps me and my customer when I remember how I track my packages when I am expecting something, this gives me some level of understanding. In this way I can be firm and gentle at the same time.
- Picturing yourself in your spouses position will help you to understand and be gentle and firm when they make mistakes.
- Since my wife is a homemaker, I can understand why she would want to talk so much to me when I get home from a long day at work.
  - I can understand why the house is not spotless, dinner is not on the table, and the kids are running around in circles, when I remember the time she was sick and I had to watch them!
  - By putting yourself in your spouses position, you can better help to work through your failures and problems.
- If you can try to understand, not excuse, the failures of your spouse it helps you to work through those things together with with gentleness, firmness, and patience.
  - Whatever that problem, or sin may be you can work through with gentleness
  - If you expect God to have some understanding when He deals with you, why don’t you have understanding when dealing with your spouse.

Gentleness comes from a place of understanding.

For example, while working for the Post Office I deal with people sometimes who are obsessively track their packages. It helps me and my customer when I remember how I track my packages when I am expecting something, this gives me some level of understanding. In this way I can be firm and gentle at the same time.
Picturing yourself in your spouses position will help you to understand and be gentle and firm when they make mistakes.
- Since my wife is a homemaker, I can understand why she would want to talk so much to me when I get home from a long day at work.
- I can understand why the house is not spotless, dinner is not on the table, and the kids are running around in circles, when I remember the time she was sick and I had to watch them!
By putting yourself in your spouses position, you can better help to work through your failures and problems.
If you can try to understand, not excuse, the failures of your spouse it helps you to work through those things together with with gentleness, firmness, and patience.
- Whatever that problem, or sin may be you can work through with gentleness
If you expect God to have some understanding when He deals with you, why don’t you have understanding when dealing with your spouse.

Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remebereth that we are dust.
Psalm 103: 13-14

3. Pray that goodness will keep you from failure.

Goodness (adjective) The moral qualities which constitute christian excellence, moral virtue, religion. (http://webstersdictionary1828.com/)

For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.
Psalm 100: 5

God is good.

From the moment of salvation you begin to realize just how good he is.
He was good to me even before I knew Him.
He was good to me to allow me to hear the Gospel many times!
I see the goodness of God more and more everyday.
Marriage is the incredible opportunity to be good to someone else.
- This is your chance to be like Jesus.
- You wake up beside someone everyday that YOU can be good to.
- You can find ways to be good to your spouse.
- Your spouse should be able to says, “My husband/ wife is good to me.”

Goodness requires thoughtfulness, attentiveness, and action.

God’s goodness is customized just for you.
- You should invent ways to be good to your spouse.
- Goodness should be your ambition. Goodness should be your endzone! Goodness should be your goalposts! You score when you are good to your spouse.
Use your time and attention to think of ways to be good to your spouse.
- Try to make a list.
- Just like God must make for us.
- I will surprise them with my goodness.
Learn how to be good in your marriage and you will find something that this world is seeking for!
- How could your marriage fail when you are both trying to be good to each other.
At the same time you are painting a beautiful picture of the Gospel to this world.

Conclusion

3 More Things You Should Be Praying for in Your Marriage.

Pray that longsuffering will be your goal.
Pray that gentleness will be your attitude.
Pray that goodness will keep you from failing.

God has something amazing planned for your marriage.

to be continued…