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In a house, the foundation is critical. Doors and windows may become hard to open and shut. Large cracks may appear in the floor and walls. Additions may start to pull away from the house. These are all signs of serious foundation problems. Sometimes marriage is like that fixer upper with foundation problems. The cracks get bigger. Circumstances can become unlivable. Stress gets bigger than your love. When these things happen your marriage can begin to fall apart. Today we will examine 3 ways to keep your marriage from falling apart from Ephesians 5 verse 33.
Podcast Notes
Foundation Problems
Types of Foundations
- A slab foundation that has reinforce footers.
- A basement has foundation walls reinforced with metal re bars.
- A crawl space has a concrete footer along the edges with reinforced pillars throughout.
Things that Go Wrong
- The soil settles over time.
- It was installed improperly from the beginning.
- Water, mold, and rust creep in.
Signs of Foundation Problems
- The doors and window will not shut.
- Large cracks appear in the floor and walls.
- Additions pull away from the house.
The Importance of Foundation Problems
- Authorities could condemn the house.
- The house could completely fall apart.
Marriage Problems
The Foundation
- It is love reinforced with faith.
- The foundation goes all the way back to when you met.
- This is what you have built your entire marriage on.
Signs that Your Marriage Foundation Is Falling Apart
The cracks are getting bigger.
- Arguments are louder.
- Disagreements last longer.
- Words are more hurtful.
The house is becoming unlivable.
- Moving out becomes an option.
- You start considering a way out.
- The problems get too big to deal with.
The stress is getting bigger than your love
- The stress is growing.
- Your love is shrinking.
- Your marriage is failing.
Keeping Your Marriage from Falling Apart
Install the Reinforcements of Faith.
Reestablish Your Walk with the Lord.
Sometimes the answer hides in the simple things.
- Read your Bible every day.
- Pray every day.
- Memorize Bible verses.
Your strength and effort are not enough to have a godly marriage.
- You must live a Spirit filled life.
- We are trying to make things better, when we need to let God do it.
The best way to fix your marriage, is to fix you!
- Focus on your problems first.
- Before you critique your spouse, critique yourself.
Trust in Doing Things God’s Way.
- Nagging your husband will drive him away.
- Mothering will not help your marriage.
- Scolding will break your relationship.
- Ignoring your wife will break your marriage.
- Not listening to your wife will destroy your happiness in marriage.
- Retreating will not end your marriage problems.
- Doing things God’s way will give you a Holy Marriage.
- It will become a picture of Christ and the Church.
- You will discover it as means to making you Holy.
- Even when you spouse is not doing right, you learn how to.
- Nagging your husband will drive him away.
Choose to Believe in Your Spouse.
- Believe in your spouse the way that Christ believes in the Church.
- How patient is the Lord with you?
- How many times has the Lord forgiven you?
Fill in the Cracks with Love.
Consider the motive of your wife’s heart.
- God made woman to love.
- He did not need to command them.
- Everything she does, is with love in her heart.
- She loves you even when she says things she should not.
- She loves you even when she does not respect you like she should.
- She loves you even when her words and attitude are no showing it.
- Be patient with the woman God has given you to love.
- Love her when it seems hard.
- Love her when she does not respect.
- Sometimes she just wants to talk about how she feels.
Show your wife that you love her.
- She has an instinctive need for reassurance.
- Do little things that show your love.
- Do big things to show your love.
Give your life for your wife.
- Stay out of your cave!
- Women have a code of nagging and being disrespectful.
- Men have a code of silence and anger.
- Where women want to talk things out, men want to keep it in.
- Engage with your wife- COMMUNICATE.
- Be patient and loving with your wife
- The way that Christ is patient and loving with you.
Eph 4:26-27 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Eph 4:27 Neither give place to the devil.”
Col 3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
Eph 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Repair the Damage with Respect.
Give your husband respect.
Men are wired for respect.
- They seek it instinctively.
- Most men would rather feel respected than loved.
- They have a “code” of respect and honor.
God commanded wives to respect their husbands.
- They did not need a commandment to love.
- Women give love and they need love.
- Men give respect and they need respect.
Give the gift of respect to your husband.
- He may not see the value until you give it to him.
- He needs respect the way that you need love.
- Show respect like the Church should show to Christ.
Make your respect unconditional.
- Respect even when it is hard to.
- Respect even when your husband has not earned it!
- Do and say little things that show your respect.
Filter your words with respect.
- Before you speak- ask “is this respectful to my husband?”
- Don’t use the Bible like ammunition.
- Learn how to respect your husband with the way you talk.
Conclusion:
3 Ways to Keep Your Marriage from Falling Apart
- Install the reinforcements of faith.
- Fill in the cracks with love.
- Repair the damage with respect.