Confessions of a Flawed Husband
Life is filled with ups and downs, highlights and low points, memories to relish and memories we wish we could forget. The mistakes we make define who we are and steer us toward our direction in life as well as in marriage. Mistakes can provide us with a building blocks to our future and can impart to us a lifetime of wisdom.
Why Mistakes are Valuable
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning. – Proverbs 9:9
- Learn from your mistakes.
- Don’t keep making the same mistakes.
- Keep getting up from your mistakes.
- Let them become your guide to prevent future mistakes.
- Allow them to correct the way you live now.
- Mistakes remind us of God’s Mercy!
- Sharing your mistakes will keep others from making them.
- Revealing your mistakes destroys the darkness that they hide in and their effectiveness in the lives of others.
- Wisdom from mistakes can break the bonds of generational sins, keeping your kids from falling into the same traps.
Real Life Confessions
I have ignored my wife and her needs.
My wedding day was one of the happiest days of my life. I was madly in love as I repeated my wedding vows, held my wife’s hands, and pledged my heart and life to her. I had two reasons for getting married that day, I loved her and it was God’s will. My love was deep, but it was immature and in many ways selfish. Not realizing it then, much of my love for her was rooted in the things she could do for me, or the way she made me feel. Over time my love for her has changed. I love my wife for who she is, not for what she can give me, or even how she makes me feel.
What if I had a need in my life and I earnestly prayed to the God of Heaven. Using all the cliches and fancy spiritual sayings, I would plead with the Lord, but what if He was just a little too busy at the time. Even though it was important to me, he was too busy reading the news or playing on his phone. I can sense you already know where this conversation is going.
I remember all the times my wife has come to me with something important to her, but I was just too preoccupied to listen. It was not that way on our wedding day. I would hang on her every word. Now reality has shined it light to reveal the ugliness of my love. I make a new vow, a vow to love, listen, and care the way that Christ cares for the Church. (Ephesians 5:25)
My expectations for my wife have been unrealistic.
The truth is at times I have expected more from my wife than I did for myself. By expecting her to transform into a romantic woman at a moments notice when I have made no effort to romance her, I have wronged her. By expecting her to fulfill all my domestic needs, while I have done nothing to fulfill her emotional ones, I have hurt her. Therefore, I make a new vow, a vow to love her the same way I love myself. (Ephesians 5:28)
My love to my wife has been inconsistent.
During those first few months of marriage, my love was like a burning fire. Because I enjoyed every moment with my wife, I could not stand to be away from her. However, over time my love became inconsistent and frail at best. Satan threw his menacing arrows of temptation and discouragement at our little marriage and I fell prey to his devices at times. I resolve to therefore renew an old vow, one that will sound very familiar. To love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and forsaking all others, keep myself only unto her, for so long as we both shall live.
God allows mistakes in your marriage to teach you holiness and real love. Maybe it is time to hit the “Reset” button on your marriage to rediscover your love for your spouse in a new and better way. Maybe it is time to renew your old vows and add some new vows into your marriage. Remember, God has something amazing planned for your Marriage!