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Modern homes have technology built into them, these houses are known as “smart homes”. The modern marriage is also filled with technology which can become a serious problem if not managed according to Bible principles. In this episode learn how to turn your marriage into a “smart marriage”.
How to Manage Technology in Your Marriage
Turning Your Fixer Upper into a Smart Home
All Things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.I Corinthians 6:12
What Is a Smart Home?
- It is a home that is wired for technology and the digital future.
- For example, it may have things like a smart thermostat, refrigerator, oven, TV, security system, or even a doorbell.
- They even make a smart toilet now, with features such as a heated seat, air drying, and warm flowing water!
- Many of these items are controlled by smart phones.
How Has Technology Affected Marriage?
- Advancements are faster than we can adapt. Consider my elementary class field trip to a computer lab compared to computers and smart phones today.
- We can communicate with one another in seconds through text messages, email, and various apps.
- The popularity of social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and Pinterest have brought new temptations into marriage.
- You can develop relationships that impact your marriage in negative ways.
- One wrong keystroke, or a social feed can expose you to an entire world of pornographic images and videos.
5 Ways to Manage Technology in Your Marriage
1. Treat Yourself as Prone to Sin
Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.Galatians 6:1
- Set your own limits and accountability by considering your vulnerability.
- Anyone could easily fall prey to the temptations of technology.
- As a precarious measure, you may have to exclude yourself from certain technology. However, you must make this choice for yourself.
- Be careful because your relationship with the Lord and your spouse is more important than anything online.
- Understand that the Devil wants to destroy your marriage.
- God created man and woman with certain specific intimate desires that are incredibly fulfilled in a godly marriage.
- However, Satan plays on those desires by using technology as a cheap and dirty replacement. (i.e. images and relationships) These things leave you with nothing but guilt and shame.
Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.II Corinthians 2:11
2. Deal with Your FOMO
- FoMo= Fear of missing out
- According to the English Oxford Living Dictionaries, FOMO is anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.
- This fear has always been around, but now it has been proliferated by social media posts.
- This means that you cannot be away from your phone or computer because of fear you could miss out on something.
- Text alerts
- Phone calls
- Social media post alerts
- News feed alerts
- Refocus your life more on what is going on around you right now than what you may be missing out on somewhere else.
- Turn off the alerts on your phone.
- Turn your phone off when you are spending time with your spouse.
- Do not get wrapped up in the highlights of someone else’s life and miss your own!
- Set limits on your time on social media
- For example, 15 minutes twice a day.
- Set your phone down and listen to your spouse!
- Do not allow fear of missing out to control you.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.I Timothy 1:7
Episode 13 ends here…
3. Do Not Have Serious Conversations through Electronic Devices
- God created us to communicate with each other with verbal and non verbal ques.
- For Example, I use my eyebrows to communicate with my wife sometimes! 🙂
- Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of the book Silent Messages conducted a study on nonverbal communication. He found that 7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through certain vocal elements, and 55% through nonverbal elements (facial expressions, gestures, posture, etc). This means that 93% of our communication is nonverbal.
- Therefore, electronic communication could be missing 93% of its intended meaning.
- Although emojis are helpful, they cannot make up for this.
- Have real face to face conversations with your spouse!
- Resolve your conflicts in person.
- Wait until you can talk in person.
4. Do Not Keep Secrets from Your Spouse.
- Your spouse should know how to unlock your phone. Your spouse should have access to all of your online accounts and passwords.
- For example, when possible if I need to talk to someone at work of the opposite sex on the phone, I try to text, so there is a written record of what was said.
- Your social media should be a shared thing as a married couple, there should be no secrets.
- Consider the impact of a social media post on your marriage BEFORE you post it.
- How will other people view what I am sharing?
- What will my spouse think of what you are sharing?
- Consider that anyone in the world can see what you post.
5. Make Time for Your Spouse without Electronic Devices.
- Take the time to cultivate your love and passion.
- Besides the Lord, your relationship with your spouse is the most important one in the world for you.
- God made marriage for a lifetime of love and passion.
- Pray together.
- Share life together.
- Take a new challenge.
- Spend 5 minutes each day this week with your spouse with NO electronic devices.
- Why let technology ruin the love and passion that God intends for you to have? God wants you to be madly in love with your spouse.
I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.Song of Solomon 7:10
5 Ways to Manage Technology in Your Marriage
- Treat yourself as prone to sin.
- Deal with your fear of missing out.
- Do not have serious conversations through electronics.
- Do not keep secrets from your spouse.
- Make time for your spouse without electronic devices.
God has something amazing planned for your marriage.