Modern homes have technology built into them, these houses are known as “smart homes”.  The modern marriage is also filled with technology which can become a serious problem if not managed according to Bible principles.  In this episode learn how to turn your marriage into a “smart marriage”.

How to Manage Technology in Your Marriage

Turning Your Fixer Upper into a Smart Home

All Things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient:  all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.

I Corinthians 6:12


What Is a Smart Home?

  • It is a home that is wired for technology and the digital future.
  • For example, it may have things like a smart thermostat, refrigerator, oven, TV, security system, or even a doorbell.
  • They even make a smart toilet now, with features such as a heated seat, air drying, and warm flowing water!
  • Many of these items are controlled by smart phones.

How Has Technology Affected Marriage?

  • Advancements are faster than we can adapt.  Consider my elementary class field trip to a computer lab compared to computers and smart phones today.
  • We can communicate with one another in seconds through text messages, email, and various apps. 
  • The popularity of social media websites like Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, and Pinterest have brought new temptations into marriage.  
  • You can develop relationships that impact your marriage in negative ways.
  • One wrong keystroke, or a social feed can expose you to an entire world of pornographic images and videos.

5 Ways to Manage Technology in Your Marriage

1.  Treat Yourself as Prone to Sin

Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.

Galatians 6:1 
  • Set your own limits and accountability by considering your vulnerability. 
    • Anyone could easily fall prey to the temptations of technology.
    • As a precarious measure, you may have to exclude yourself from certain technology.   However, you must make this choice for yourself.
    • Be careful because your relationship with the Lord and your spouse is more important than anything online.
  • Understand that the Devil wants to destroy your marriage.
    • God created man and woman with certain specific intimate desires that are incredibly fulfilled in a godly marriage.
    • However, Satan plays on those desires by using technology as a cheap and dirty replacement. (i.e. images and relationships) These things leave you with nothing but guilt and shame. 

Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.

II Corinthians 2:11

2.  Deal with Your FOMO

  • FoMo= Fear of missing out
    • According to the English Oxford Living Dictionaries, FOMO is anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media.
    • This fear has always been around, but now it has been proliferated by social media posts.
  • This means that you cannot be away from your phone or computer because of fear you could miss out on something.
    • Text alerts
    • Phone calls
    • Social media post alerts
    • News feed alerts
  • Refocus your life more on what is going on around you right now than what you may be missing out on somewhere else.
    • Turn off the alerts on your phone.
    • Turn your phone off when you are spending time with your spouse.
    • Do not get wrapped up in the highlights of someone else’s life and miss your own!
  • Set limits on your time on social media
    • For example, 15 minutes twice a day.
    • Set your phone down and listen to your spouse!
    • Do not allow fear of missing out to control you.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

I Timothy 1:7

Episode 13 ends here…

3.  Do Not Have Serious Conversations through Electronic Devices

  • God created us to communicate with each other with verbal  and non verbal ques.
    • For Example, I use my eyebrows to communicate with my wife sometimes! 🙂
    • Dr. Albert Mehrabian, author of the book Silent Messages conducted a study on nonverbal communication. He found that 7% of any message is conveyed through words, 38% through certain vocal elements, and 55% through nonverbal elements (facial expressions, gestures, posture, etc).  This means that 93% of our communication is nonverbal.
    • Therefore, electronic communication could be missing 93% of its intended meaning.  
    • Although emojis are helpful, they cannot make up for this.
  • Have real face to face conversations with your spouse!
    • Resolve your conflicts in person.
    • Wait until you can talk in person.

4.  Do Not Keep Secrets from Your Spouse.

  • Your spouse should know how to unlock your phone. Your spouse should have access to all of your online accounts and passwords.
    • For example, when possible if I need to talk to someone at work of the opposite sex on the phone,  I try to text, so there is a written record of what was said.
    • Your social media should be a shared thing as a married couple, there should be no secrets.
  • Consider the impact of a social media post on your marriage BEFORE you post it.
    • How will other people view what I am sharing?
    • What will my spouse think of what you are sharing?
    • Consider that anyone in the world can see what you post.

5.  Make Time for Your Spouse without Electronic Devices.

  • Take the time to cultivate your love and passion.
    • Besides the Lord, your relationship with your spouse is the most important one in the world for you.
    • God made marriage for a lifetime of love and passion.
    • Pray together.
    • Share life together.
  • Take a new challenge.
    • Spend 5 minutes each day this week with your spouse with NO electronic devices.
  • Why let technology ruin the love and passion that God intends for you to have?  God wants you to be madly in love with your spouse.


I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me.

Song of Solomon 7:10

5 Ways to Manage Technology in Your Marriage

  1. Treat yourself as prone to sin.
  2. Deal with your fear of missing out.
  3. Do not have serious conversations through electronics.
  4. Do not keep secrets from your spouse.
  5. Make time for your spouse without electronic devices.

God has something amazing planned for your marriage.